I swear my brain confuses the heck out of me often. I was quite emotional yesterday and today I am slammed with an overwhelming sense of love. Yes, I went on a TED adventure trying to figure out my head. I want to share my love so deeply at times – at times, I am numb. Romantic love makes me sad; it makes me full of passions I cannot describe fully. I do try, I do. I wrote a poem several months ago titled “Dopamine.” I went into research mode when I wrote that too.
Maybe I will post the poem on my poetry blog… anyway here are some TED video’s.
My brain is not so confused now. However, my mind has not changed. Romantic love, humph. I suppose it will not change… She mentions that women experience intimacy through face-to-face interaction, and for men it is side-by-side. I am more of a side-by-side type of woman. Interesting read, What is Your Attachment Style?
Helen Fisher: Why we love, why we cheat (I think this is a longer version of the first one that was revamped in 2008 this one was from 2006.)
Mind wondering, hmm…some things in the mix of these talks that Aspie’s may feel with friendships? The behavior could be similar as how one acts in a romantic type of love without the romance. One becoming obsessive with friends, or even family. I know in the past I have done this with friends, so much so that one of my best friends said, “You act like a jealous boyfriend.” Hmm… I know that I am not the only Aspie that obsesses over friends or relationships. What happens to a brain that feels constantly rejected by people that they love? What is going on with our dopamine? I am just thinking aloud – don’t mind me. My head just flooded with a ton of questions, I will ponder.
I am in my clinical, research type of mode so I am rather detached. The emotions will come later. She goes into how the male brain and the female differ. Some good information in this video. I definitely recommend watching both of them. There is a lot mixed in it, symmetrical marriage. Fascinating.
“A marriage between equals moving forward to a pattern that is highly compatible with the ancient human spirit.”
She talks about lust, romantic love, and attachment. This is something that has always been of great interest to me. She says that a person can be in love with more than one person at a time. I have never understood this, and I have never been able to achieve this. My brain just will not bend. I have done this with best friends as well. I had a difficult time being close friends with multiple people because I feel like I need to be wholly devoted. I am only capable of doing that with one person at a time. I have been learning degrees of friendships, but my devotion will stay to the person who I am connected to the most.
When it comes to romantic love I have only experienced it once, (in a way that is described by others) and my mind has been devoted the entire time. I have tried all means of ridding myself of it throughout the years, but it will not go. I had to stuff it and convince myself it was my imagination. Now watching the first video I realize that this may be with me until the day I die.
Casual sex I do not understand and never have. Lust I do not understand in the context of lusting after a person. I comprehend both of them – I do not understand how people do it. She said that while lying in bed you can swing from deep attachments to that person to deep romantic love for another person. I do not understand that. It feels like betrayal. Much there to process do not know if I want to. I cannot wrap my mind around it. Although, it explains a lot of people’s behaviors in a purely analytical way for me.
I am learning a lot with these videos. I do not quite grasp it all, but on a logical basis, I get it. She does go on about anti-depressants later in the talk and I think it is a very good concern that we should think about. I am not on them, but I do have several family members on them so it is of interest to me. (I was on them for a period of time about 14 years ago, but I could not continue them because they messed with my mind BIG TIME.)
I will leave with this lovely poem and wonderfully addictive song.
“Fire runs through my body with the pain of loving you, pain runs through my body with the fires of my love for you, pain like a boil about to burst with my love for you, consumed by fire with my love for you, I remember what you said to me, I am thinking of your love for me, I am torn with your love for me, pain and more pain. Where are you going with my love, Im told you will go from here, Im told you will leave me here. My body is numb with grief, remember what I said my love, goodbye my love goodbye”
South Alaskan Native to a Missionary
This song is like dopamine through lyrics. Hee hee