Deep breath. I am intensely emotional, and overwhelmed with feelings of heartbreak. I am not quite sure why it is so intense, but it seems like my brain is preparing me for pain. Possibly, it is dealing with past pain I have not dealt with. I started several stories before the big move, and finished one today. It caused deep sadness. It broke my heart all over again. It made me long to be held. It scared me to even step foot in that old town again. I do not really fear it – I was overcome with the past and things that hurt me. I am fine just swimming in my happy jolly state, while feeling like my heart is lying on the floor still attached to my body and someone pouring lemon juice all over my exposed parts. Other than that, I am doing quite well.
My paracosm world gets shattered at times and I need to explore the hidden chambers of hurt inside of me. Unfortunately, I seem to be bombarded with a plethora of mixed emotions from past to present seeking some sort of resolve and comfort. My balance is shaken and what better way to help bring balance than to write out my mixed bag of emotional whimsy! This just came out… hold on while I seek an image.
Waking Into Paracosm
let me wake in your arms
furrowing my head within your neck
balance my dizzy nape,
grasping it in your palm
hold me close
hold me tight
let my tears penetrate -
for once feel them
trickling warmth across your hand
watery gleams that flush your heart
feel me this once
clasp me
lock me in your arms
let me know what it’s like to feel safe
keep me grounded under your chin
as I slightly rub your lips
gently sooth your ears
whispers of nothing, but my breath
allow me to cling
adhering fingers lock
look down at me one more time
let me feel -
if only one more time
let me wake in your arms
my body falls apart
in the absence of your light
give it a lasting fill
before you drift in your good-bye
please don’t wake me -
unless we remain here
my paracosm living this fairy tale
Oh, oh! TED Time!
This first video is a wonderful watch. I am one who feels that everyone has a creative side. I believe that most people who feel like they are not creative may have a perspective that has been molded by society’s definition of creativity. I encourage you to watch the video and think about your creative outlet. Creativity and the definition of art is a huge spectrum. We are currently waking (yes, I said “waking”) into a world where jobs are being redefined, we are moving into robotics taking over certain types of jobs that have been dominated by humans.(With little pay, and many times lack of respect.)
People seem afraid of this – I see it as an amazing opportunity for people to discover that they are not only labor workers, or limited to a specific type of job.
It is a grand time to seek out new creative ways to earn income and seek a profession that is molded to fit the person rightly. Not to work to buy things, or do things, but to seek a profession that pays you to be yourself fully. I know I sound rather pipe-dreamish here. However, I do not think it is a pipe-dream. I think the time is rapidly approaching where technology will expand and help move us into a unique age where many people who never thought about their creativity will begin to see it and embrace it. In turn exposing us to minds that have been hidden away in jobs that never gave them opportunity to broaden our world.
Yes, this first video made me think of a whole lot of awesome stuff. Hopefully, it will make you too and start to seek beyond any limitations you may have on yourself.
David Kelley: How to build your creative confidence
Quixotic Fusion: Dancing with light
Sarah Parcak: Archeology from space
Psychology Today Time!
The Unbearable Uncanniness of Being
Are Children Saner Than Adults?
And listening to some Leonard…waiting…

Beautiful and candid! Your writing is always a treasure trove! Look out later, I shall be nominating you for some awards!
I also LOVE Leonard Cohen!
I have to say it feels very good to hear that! Thank you and yeah, an award!! Leonard Rocks!!
Oh, sweet angel….big bubbles of light to you…I understand the emotions coming from all directions. Hang in there. Lots of changes, hey?
Thank you Sam, receiving bubbles of light and bouncing some back to you! My emotions are all over the place. Coming home as a new (in reality old self with newness) person, reliving happy and sad times, family dynamics that I am not used to, and adjusting to the other aspects of me that I have embraced has been a lot. That doesn’t include new home, new people, all the social stuff going on, and my NEED for my house to get in order. Wow! I guess there is a lot for me to process. Hanging in there! Whoop!
more bubbles coming your way…..so much going on! I just visited “home” for three days, so I know a “fraction” of what you are saying. Hang in there.
You are so aweomely awesome! Thank you!